Forbidden Feelings.
Sadness with a reason is permitted – sadness without one is “whining.” Says who?
In Bella’s fifth month of pregnancy, her hormones finally spoke up, and a clinging sadness moved in for no reason. Bella recognized it immediately. The hard part wasn't the sadness – it was getting permission to have it. Loss, illness, dismissal: grief approved. No reason? “Everything's fine with you, what are you whining about?”
That inner rulebook is exactly what The Blind Spot maps: we sort our feelings into the welcomed and the banished, and the banished ones don't leave – they just go underground. Her hormones make the case better than any argument: they don't read the gratitude list. Some things in us are simply natural, and resisting them is the only losing move.
She ends by turning the question to you: what do you not allow yourself – even when you badly want to? Sit with that one.
🌸 Rules about what’s allowed
The deeper I go into spiritual work, the more I notice how the world around me responds. Nature, intuition, inner sensations – everything joins into one whole. And more and more often, the examples I feel come exactly from there.
Now, in the fifth month of pregnancy, my hormones have finally made themselves known. For the first time in all this time, a melancholy washed over me. That mild sadness that clings to you, when you don't know what to do with yourself, you want to cry, and it seems you're the unhappiest person in the world.
Everyone, I think, has felt that unexpected, uninvited melancholy at least once. I understood right away – this is it. But accepting it, allowing myself to “just be sad for no reason” – that was the harder part.
Because what’s the rule we live by? If a tragedy has happened – then you’re allowed to be sad. A loss, a dismissal, an illness – then sadness is permissible. But just like that, without a cause? Shameful. “Everything's fine with you, what are you whining about?” – that inner voice can always be found.
But my hormones – they don't care what's on my gratitude list. They have their own chemistry, their own waves, and they need no explanation. They just showed up – and that’s that. I’m sad. And how can I resist something that is natural in me?
And I started wondering: how many of these rules about what’s “forbidden” do we carry inside? When it's allowed, when it's not. When feeling is – permitted. And when you’re just “spoiled.”
Have you noticed such prohibitions in yourself? What do you not allow yourself – even when you really want to?
Thank you for reading.
If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.
– Jan