The Controller.
The universe was never waiting for us to manage it – the world lives, breathes, and spins on its own.
Everyone has met their inner controller: the one who plans the vacation a year out, scripts the meeting, the date, the work week – and then watches the mood drop to zero the moment life doesn't follow the script. Bella knows hers well, and she introduces it without cosmetics.
What finally loosened its grip wasn't a technique. It was scale: one documentary about the universe – billions of suns, galaxies beyond counting – and the controller suddenly looks like a two-year-old in a sandbox trying to run the world. The Art of Letting Go describes the same release from the inside: letting go isn't giving up, and control was never ours to begin with. Everything was already carrying us the whole time.
Read it for the relief in the last lines. It's contagious.
🌀 The Controller
Probably everyone has run into their inner controller at least once. That obsessive type who wants to plan the vacation a year ahead,
script every detail of a meeting, a date, a work plan…
And then, of course, everything goes differently than hoped, the mood drops to zero, the vacation – “forget it, who needs it.”
But if you think back, the best moments were exactly the spontaneous ones.
When we bought tickets within a couple of days and flew off.✈️
Living without the controller is easier. But how do you let him go?
For me it was hard.
I'm neurotic, I have ADHD and a bit of OCD.
I need to know in advance, understand in advance, feel in control.
It seems like if I relax – the planet will stop.
I went to psychologists, healers, shamans. I worked on it myself.
Little by little the controller started losing ground.
But you know what influenced me most of all?
An ordinary documentary… about the universe.
In simple words:
There is our solar system – with our Sun and its planets. In our galaxy, called the Milky Way, there are billions of stars like our Sun. And many of them may have planets of their own – just like ours! And beyond our galaxy, space holds an enormous number of other galaxies, each with its own stars and planets.
And then I understood:
my inner controller is like a two-year-old in a sandbox
trying to run the world.
For the first time I truly wanted to relax.
Not because “you're supposed to” or “controlling is bad for you.”
But because… everything is already arranged.
The world lives. The universe breathes. The planets spin.
And I – am simply a person in this enormous, beautiful chaos.
And my vacation, dinner, project – at that scale, really no reason to panic.
Thank you for reading.
If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.
– Jan