The Foundation.
Build your life on what you are, not on what you want to be – the only foundation that holds is self-love.
This letter arrived while I was preparing for job interviews – rehearsing answers, smoothing my rough edges, trying to sound like the person I assumed they were looking for. Underneath the preparation sat an older habit: measuring myself against expectations I could never meet, and feeling permanently in deficit.
The letter stops that machinery with one sentence: the foundation you build a life on cannot be knowledge, status, or anything else on the outside – it is self-love. Allowing yourself to be you, imperfect and fully accepted. "The Blind Spot" walks the same territory – the hidden pattern that keeps us at war with ourselves, and what it means to meet all parts of yourself with genuine love.
If you are about to walk into a room where you think you have to perform someone better than you, read this first.
Dear traveler,
Slowly but surely, you are finding your self-confidence again. Your sense of who you are. And with it, your joy in life can return.
You have often been running at a deficit – professionally above all, but in general too. You imposed expectations on yourself that cannot be met. You broke on them. Build yourself, step by step, a base you feel at ease in. One that gives you confidence – and use that confidence to build a foundation, and to build further on it. Only one thing matters: this foundation cannot be knowledge, status, or anything else on the outside. This foundation is self-love. Recognizing and feeling your inner truth. Allowing yourself to be You. Imperfect. But fully and completely accepted. Allow yourself to be here. On Earth. And then build on this foundation. Without pressure. Do not try to be perfect, or to be something you are not. First become aware of yourself. Of your essence. And then you can smooth the "rough edges". Or not. The right opportunity comes with your sense of who you are. And when you are completely authentic, you are calm and clear. Find what fits you from your foundation. Not from your mind. From what you are – not from what you want to be.
Thank you for being here.
If something in these letters stayed with you, take it along – think about it, write your own answer, or just let it sit.
And if not today, that's okay too. There's no rush.
Until next time,
– Jan