Fear Demands Control.
When doubt arrives right after the joy of making, fear is asking for control – and there is a way out of the loop.
It can flip within an hour. I look at something I made and love it – a true piece of me. Then I look again, and it has shrunk: small, miserable, embarrassing. Nothing about the work changed between the two looks. Only the fear arrived.
The letter traces the doubt to its diet: expectations and wanting – the same root "When Fear Returns" walks you back to, tool in hand. Fear demands control, it says, and you never had any. The way out is not confidence. It is remembering the source you create from, and then letting the finished work go its own way.
If something you made is currently shrinking in front of you, read this before you take it down.
Dear traveler,
Doubt. Self-doubt. Today you doubt yourself. One moment you love what you do and honor your work as a true expression of yourself. And the next, a feeling of shame rises. You feel exposed. Unprotected. Vulnerable. You doubt what you have made. Suddenly it looks small and miserable. And so do you. And do you see where these doubts come from? They are fear. They are expectations. They are wanting. Fear of not living up to the expectations, that what you want will not come to pass. The room feels tight. You can hardly breathe. No courage. No self-trust. Exactly. No trust. Control is the opposite of trust. When we expect and want, we need control. Fear demands control. But what have we told you dozens of times already? You never had control. There is no control. Control is an illusion. Your mind wants and expects reflexively and tries to hold on to control. In vain. And out of this desperate attempt, self-doubt arises. Wanting and expecting vs. reality. Now it is time to break this vicious circle. Stop. Breathe. Come out of your head. Out of the mind. Remember the source you create from. Inner truth. Love. Love wants nothing. Love is unconditional and therefore without expectation. What is created from love is valuable simply because it is. Because it is authentic. And when it is, when it has taken form – then it is time to let go. And letting go means trusting. Trusting that it came into being the way it was meant to. That it comes from deep inner truth. That it is enough. That it has its place in the greater whole. That it was created at the right time and in the right way. Because otherwise it would not have felt so light. Otherwise you would not have had this inner urge, this longing. Trust your intuition. Your heart. And trust that you can let it go and that your work will go the way it must – without your influence, without expecting, without wanting. Without knowing why. Or when. Or how. That is surrender. Letting go. Trusting. And in that, fear and doubt cannot exist. Here you are free. Do you feel the vastness? The lightness? Yes... exactly!
Thank you for being here.
If something in these letters stayed with you, take it along – think about it, write your own answer, or just let it sit.
And if not today, that's okay too. There's no rush.
Until next time,
– Jan