Convenient Cages.
Labels keep us safe, sorted, and small – and living to please is not living.
“What will people say?” Bella lived with that setting for years – most of us do. Labels make the world cheap to process: successful or loser, one of us or outsider, productive or dead weight. The trouble starts when the sorting turns inward.
That inward turn is exactly what The Blind Spot describes: we split our inner world into the parts we welcome and the parts we push away, and that war never ends on its own. Her way out is the same one: stop performing, let every part exist – the clumsy, the tired, the not-camera-ready – and life gets lighter by itself.
It's the angriest post on this blog so far – and the freest. Let her tell it.
🌸 Labels. Convenient cages.
Labels of judgment are nothing new.
They're a social mechanism that has existed since ancient times.
Why do we do it?
🧠 1. Psychology
The brain likes sorting everything into boxes.
We hang labels quickly so we don't spend energy on nuance.
Like: “one of us – outsider,” “successful – loser,” “normal – weird.”
🧱 2. Social roots
In earlier times everyone knew their role exactly: warrior, mother, farmer.
Deviation – a threat to the group's survival.
So “being like everyone” = “being safe.”
💼 3. Modern capitalism
A person's value = productivity.
Working – well done. Not working – dead weight.
Don't measure up? Here's your guilt and shame.
🤯 4. The culture of success and comparison
Social media, ads, influencers shout:
“Be better, faster, prettier!”
If you're not in the flow – you're “bad,” “lazy,” “not enough.”
These labels are everywhere now. We hang them on everything without even noticing.
“If you don't work – you're a kept woman.”
“You can't be tired at home – people only get tired at work.”
We even have labels for how the wife of this or that man is supposed to look.
Like when they hounded a footballer's girlfriend – just for being a bit plump.
Because she didn't fit the label “footballer's wife.” And what is she supposed to be? Thin, like in an ad? No cellulite, a perfect waist?
By what checklist do we even decide that?
And these labels eat so deep into us
that we start scolding, blaming, pushing ourselves.
We live not the way we want – but so as to “please.”
Please whom, exactly? The neighbor? A passerby? Instagram?
Whatever you do – someone will always be there to criticize.
For years I lived with the settings: “What will people say?”
“You have to be good for everyone.” I'm done with that.
I want to be myself.
Funny in places. Clumsy in places.
Sometimes chubby. Sometimes looking silly. Making mistakes.
But – being myself. Not playing a part. Not seeming. Just – living.
And if we all simply stopped,
looked around, felt ourselves real –
it would get so much easier.
No shackles. No masks.
Without these damn labels.
Thank you for reading.
If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.
– Jan