Imperfect Perfection.
Two years without a vacation, then her sister drops out and she gets sick – and the trip stays good, because she stops demanding the perfect version.
Bella writes this with her suitcase half packed. Two years without a vacation, a reunion with her mother and sister at the end of it – and first the sister drops out, then she comes down with a fever a week before the flight. The days we want to be Perfect, she notices, are exactly the days a small hitch can wreck: the wedding, the birthday, the trip. Instead of being angry at the whole world she drank tea, took her pills, and kept looking forward to the sea as if she were healthy.
Her one-line conclusion is this site's third principle in her words: the more control and perfection we want, the less we get. And her way out is the image Surfing the Ocean of Truth is built on – don't try to control the wave or steer it by your will; catch it, take on its rhythm, and let it carry you. That is not passivity. She still packed, still planned, still got well. What she dropped was the demand that it all go to plan.
The last line of her post says where she is while you read it: in the sea.
Imperfect perfection.
We're getting ready for our vacation right now, and I noticed one little thing. At certain moments we want Perfection. On a wedding day, a birthday, a vacation, an important meeting or the office party. And if something goes slightly off plan, we get really upset.
We haven't had a vacation in 2 years. And on top of that it's a reunion with my mom and my sister. First my sister dropped out – she's not flying. Then I got sick. But instead of cursing the whole world, I just drank my teas, stuffed myself with medicine, and today is the first day without a fever, and I'm thinking: tomorrow I'll fly out fresh as a cucumber. All through being sick I kept getting ready for the trip, looking forward to it no less than if I'd been healthy. And everything kept falling into place.
The more control and perfection we want – the less of it we get. Case in point: everything spontaneous is always the most interesting, because there's 0 control in it🤭
Sometimes you just have to trust, catch your wave and ride it. And you'll notice how much amazing stuff you'd been letting pass right by you.
And while you're reading this, I'm already swimming in the sea 🌊
Thank you for reading.
If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.
– Jan