One Big Not.
Not enough money, not enough time, not sure I can – Bella names the chorus that postpones a life, and what to do with it.
Everyone who has tried to quit smoking knows the deal: after the exam, after the problem at work is solved, after the holidays. Bella uses it as the picture for something bigger – the NOT that stands in front of almost every wish. Not enough money, not enough time, not the right moment, not sure I can. Give it power, she says, and what is left is not a life but a not-quite-life.
Her way out is small and unglamorous: start with the little wishes and do them, and the big ones come within reach on their own. There will never be a good time – that part is honest, and it matches what When Fear Returns says about the mechanism underneath: fear needs something to feed on, and what feeds it is wanting things to be a certain way before you begin. Her second observation is just as useful. The people telling you it won't work are handing you their own fears; the one who tried and made it usually cheers you on.
Don't listen to anyone but yourself, she closes, and do what you love even if it's very scary – later you will thank yourself. That is the compass of this site in her words: fear does not mean not yours. Often it means yours, and it asks for the leap.
There will always be a NOT
Those who ever quit smoking, or wanted to, remember that moment when you thought: I'll pass the exam and then quit, or I'll sort out the problem at work and then quit, and so on. There are a great many situations like that. And if you stick to that strategy, you will never quit smoking.
But of course, as I hope you've understood, I didn't want to talk about cigarettes. How often do we want to start something and can't, because of this NOT? Not enough money, not enough resources, not enough time, not the right time, not sure I can. One big NOT. In the moment I got so tired of it – because if you give power to this NOT, there won't be a life either. It will always be a NOT-quite-life.
But if you want something, don't put it off. Start with small wishes and do them, and you won't notice how you arrive at the big ones.
There will never be a good time for anything – this NOT will always be there. So send this NOT off to the sky to fetch a star, and start doing )
And yes, there will always be someone who says: what do you need that for, you won't manage, it's not your thing, and so on. BUT that's them shifting THEIR fears onto you, and it has NOTHING to do with you. It's like the well-worn saying that a successful singer will always support a beginner, while the one who wanted to but got scared will put you down: who do you think you are, nothing will come of it, and so on.
Don't listen to anyone but yourself. And do what you like and what feels right in your soul. Even if it's very scary – later you'll say thank you to yourself.
Thank you for reading.
If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.
– Jan