Open and Curious.
When you stop needing one outcome, a conversation becomes a place to feel your way – open, curious, entirely yourself.
This letter came before a conversation that mattered – one where something real would be decided. I had already run it a dozen times in my head: the questions that might come, the answers I would give, the outcome I needed to walk out with. That wasn't preparation anymore. It was a script, and I was gripping it.
An earlier letter, "Desired Outcome", traced what needing a result does to the work it comes from. This one brings the same instruction back as something to carry into the room: go in with no desired outcome – open, curious, fully yourself. Feel what's light while you're in it, ask where it isn't, and decide when it's over – not before.
If there's a conversation on your calendar that you keep rehearsing, read this one before you walk in – and leave the script at the door.
Dear traveler,
Have no "desired outcome". Be open. Curious. And fully yourself. There is simply nothing more to do here. There is no judgment about which paths are better or worse. All paths that open to you and feel good to you are in accord with you. So during the conversation, simply feel: What feels good and light. And what does not. And there, where it feels less good, ask, find out whether you can choose alternatives there that feel better. And at the end you feel again, and you can decide. So follow your feeling entirely. Follow the lightness. The rest happens automatically.
Thank you for being here.
If something in these letters stayed with you, take it along – think about it, write your own answer, or just let it sit.
And if not today, that's okay too. There's no rush.
Until next time,
– Jan