Without Frames.

🌸 Being yourself, or being who you're “supposed” to be

When I was little, I was diagnosed with ADHD. It's astonishing that in the 90s anyone even managed to recognize it in a girl. The doctors suggested pills, but my mom was against it.

How did my diagnosis show itself? I was simply an active, cheerful child. I ran, jumped, played, laughed. Didn't fight, didn't bite, wasn't rude. I just couldn't sit still. Even in class – I fidgeted, twirled my pen, jiggled my leg. And that was enough to have me filed under “bad children.” Teachers didn't like me. My friends' moms – didn't either.

They said I was a “bad influence.” That I would surely start smoking and “come home pregnant at 16.” Spoiler: I'm 33 now, and this is my first pregnancy – wanted and conscious. They guessed a little wrong. 😊

Back then I was simply “inconvenient.” Not the way one “should” be. Not quiet, not settled, not like everyone else.

And so I grow up – and keep going against the system. Everyone goes to see Spider-Man – I don't. Everyone reads the fashionable book – I read one nobody has heard of. Not out of spite. Simply because I feel differently.

And all this time I hear:
“You're loud,”
“You're too noisy,”
“Speak more quietly,”
“Sit still.”

Why does it occur to no one to say: “Why are you so short?” or “Why are your eyes green and not brown?”
But saying “stop fidgeting,” “stop making noise” – that's allowed.
And yet that, too, is part of me.

So I wonder: where do all these frames come from? Who even invented what a girl, a woman, a person is supposed to be? Why do we keep trying to squeeze ourselves into them? Why is being yourself almost always a protest?

But perhaps the most important thing we can learn – and teach our children:
we are all different, and that is our strength.
We don't have to be “convenient” or “proper.”
We need to be ourselves.

And to live – in respect. But without frames.