Blog Overview
Care of Souls

These Tears.

Tears at anthems, tears at strangers uniting – blocked for years out of shame, and accepted today as the purest fuel she has.

The scene repeats for years: the stadium stands up, scarves out, the anthem starts – and her tears start with it, and she stops them. Every time. Videos of strangers singing together, of people saving an animal: same tears, same block, same shame.

What changes today isn't the feeling; it's the verdict on it. This site's second principle says feelings are guests with a full right to exist – not tolerated, welcomed – and The Blind Spot walks through exactly this: meeting the parts of yourself you've sentenced, with genuine love. Her discovery has a bonus layer: the tears were never weakness at all, but her strongest signal – they mark, with total precision, what fills her: people uniting. A compass would be jealous of that accuracy.

She ends by asking what fills you. If something came to mind just now, that was probably it.

Today I accepted a new part of myself. Or rather, this part was always in me – I just kept trying to suppress it.
I loved going to the stadium, watching football. And every time we stood up with our scarves and sang the Spartak anthem, tears would start running – and I always stopped them, blocked them.

Every video where people sing in a stadium or come together in the street brings me to tears. I watched the film “Plata za risk”, about the Plata bank, and there are many moments where Russian guys who moved to Mexico sing to a guitar and celebrate the bank's successes – and again, tears.
I was always ashamed of these tears. And today I understood: it inspires me TO MADNESS when people unite. Singing, rejoicing, saving an animal and so on. That incredible energy that fills you in a second and gives you endless strength. And under that surge, my tears come. And there is nothing shameful in it. It is the strongest, purest energy – it charges you so much that it's honestly silly to be ashamed of it.

Is there something like that that fills you?🤗

Translated from Russian
by Bella

Thank you for reading.

If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.

– Jan

Where this comes from:

The original post
This post on Telegram, as Bella published it – in Russian.
С нежностью к себе
Bella's channel on Telegram – all of her posts, in Russian.

Read more

The Blind Spot
The hidden pattern that keeps us at war with ourselves – inspired by Maria Sanchez's work, a guide to recognizing your blind spot and meeting all parts of yourself with genuine love.

Post by post:

Back to Myself
The next post
The Body Says Stop
The previous post

If you're new here: these posts come from Bella's Telegram channel «С нежностью к себе». What this blog is, and why – read more here.

Care of Souls
Bella walks the same way in a completely different voice – diary-honest, from the middle of life. Selected posts from her Telegram channel, translated from Russian.