Being Myself.
Done comparing, happy for everyone, wanting no one else's life – her own, with its scars and its love, is the one she likes.
Bella opens with a sentence that took years to become true: she is no longer interested in comparing herself with others. Not because she gave up the race – because she left it. Her friends are all different, she writes, and that difference is exactly what has held them together for thirty years.
What she describes next is this site's root said in her own words – a path back to yourself. Getting to know herself, building boundaries, being inconvenient at times and keeping herself with herself; becoming her own teacher, friend, and support. A Place to Go and a Path to Get There describes the same homecoming from the other end: a place where the weight of judgment falls away and you remember you are far more than you have been living – available now, not at the end of a long road.
She ends on four words: to love and be loved. There is no better summary of the goal.
Being myself
Today I realized I'm no longer interested in comparing myself with others.
I am the way I am. What interests me is getting to know myself better. Being not perfect, not interesting, or too loud – but being myself.
I love all my girlfriends, and they're all different – that's exactly what brings us close. We're different, and we learn something from each other.
In a way it's that very difference that draws us together. If they were all the same, I'm afraid we wouldn't have been friends for thirty years.
I've become interesting to myself: getting to know myself, building my boundaries, being inconvenient at times – but keeping myself with myself. Protecting myself – because who, if not me?
I'm happy for my friends, I'm happy for people, I'm inspired by them – but I don't want their lives. I like mine. With my mistakes, my scars, my achievements, my success and my love.
To be myself, to know myself – that is the goal of my life. To become my own teacher, friend, mentor, support.
To love and to be loved.
Thank you for reading.
If her words reached somewhere mine don't – good. That's what this blog is for. Take what fits and leave the rest.
– Jan