A Good Day to Jump.
You cannot control whether the money comes – but the moment you jump, you are caught, and you have what you need.
This letter found me between a to-do list and a budget spreadsheet. Work uncertain, money uncertain – and my answer to that fear was to plan harder: rewrite the list, tighten the budget, run the numbers one more time. Every round bought me ten minutes of feeling in control. Then the fear was back, asking for the next round.
The letter takes the whole toolkit apart: to-do lists, budgets, "being productive" – all of it is control, and every form of control is illusory. It is the same ground "Fear and Control" covers from the human side – you never had control; all you had was anxiety. And it picks up exactly where "The Leap" left off: what remains is the leap of faith, and the moment you jump, you are caught.
If your version of safety is a longer list or a tighter budget, read this one slowly. It was written for the day the planning stops working.
Dear traveler,
You are deeply afraid, and at the same time you sense what needs to be done. To-do lists are confining. They are restricting, controlling. You have already seen that correctly. Of course we need – no, wait – everything that is truly relevant finds its way to your attention. Free yourself to do what needs doing, and to do nothing when nothing needs doing. Being "productive" is an entirely misguided concept of control. One wants to get something done as quickly and efficiently as possible … that is control. Neither the goal is intuitive, nor the way to it. And you sense it rightly with the budget, too. Another attempt to control everything. You have just noticed for yourself that you cannot control whether you have a job or not. Whether money comes or not. Every form of control is completely illusory. Only when you understand this and internalize it can the intuitive, natural flow fully set in. This leap of faith is the hardest thing you have ever had to do. Especially in the present situation. But in the very same moment in which you jump, you are caught. And you will have everything you need. You have everything you need. You will be able to choose. The more you allow yourself, the more is possible. Today is a good day to jump. Now is a good moment to jump. We are here, we love you.
Thank you for being here.
If something in these letters stayed with you, take it along – think about it, write your own answer, or just let it sit.
And if not today, that's okay too. There's no rush.
Until next time,
– Jan